I am seriously struggling right now. I am seriously going through baby smell withdrawal. Leif doesn't smell like a baby any more. He smells like a little boy, which unless he is fresh from the shower, smells kinda funky. I will give it to him that his hair always smells like warm sunshine, but GOD ALMIGHTY, the rest of him is a assortment of downright weird. It doesn't help that he rolls around with the dogs, puts pine sap in his hair, runs around with his hand in his pants, and considers the front of his shirt a good place to wipe his nose. He's a boy, and I'm not blaming him. He's adorable, and he does smell like my kiddo, in that good way I will always love. But I miss baby smell!
I'm also super torn right now about thinking about Rowan 2.0, and enjoying the ability to give Leif tasks and have him be self-sufficient. It's nice to tell him to go play with his toys while I clean, and he actually does it. It's nice to be able to put him down for a nap without tons of crying. It's nice to have him tell me when he's had a poop (toilet training coming soon!) and deal with it before it escapes his diaper. But jeeze, I miss the tiny ones. The little tiny fingers and toes. That perfect smell. The 3 hour naps. The sighs and smiles.
Blurgh. I think I am still waiting to get there. I know that my body still says, "Yeah right, sister. Remember not being able to walk? Remember Braxton-Hicks for MONTHS? Remember crying and leaking everywhere?" Oh yeah. I forgot about that.
So, I'll sit here and remember for a minute, and then I'll go kiss my smelly boy and wash his hands and love him even more. I'll be grateful for his talents and his willingness to help. I'll find someone with a newborn, and have a good sniff, and then be patient.
Good plan.
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